Fail

I keep being so determined. Knowing exactly what is it I need to do, then fucking everything up because I'm a greedy cow with no self control. 

I'm so fat. Straight up fat. Why can't I change? Why can't I stop stuffing my face? I'm disgusting. I can't believe I have a boyfriend. He must be horrified. I need to change. 

I keep seeing girls I used to go to school with who have lost so much weight. Why can't that be me? Why do I have to be the one who can barely look at herself in the mirror?