Lana Del Rey

I had my other appointment with my GP today.
It was okay. He said he didn't think he'd spoken to me about enough and he wanted to be positive I was okay. He spent most of the time trying to work out what in particular causes me to do everything. He asked if it was just school, family, friends and university plans that was stressing me, I know I should have said something about weight then, but I'm not ready to stop this yet so I lied and said that was everything.
Then he asked loads of questions about my home life. I forgot how much he hates my dad until I started talking about him. My dad is so rude to everyone, and him and my doctor have had arguments before over medication and stuff, so the doctor was so nice and understanding when I said I can't stand talking to my dad and I argue with him most days.
I think by the end of it he gave up on suggesting things like walks to improve my mood and realised I can't escape my dad, so he said antidepressants would probably be good for me.
Apparently because I'm under 18 he's not supposed to prescribe them to me though, so he wants to wait until my clinical assessment thing on Monday because they're more qualified to hand out medication.
So I guess that's good. Just anything to stabilise my mood long enough to get me into school in the morning is a positive.

I was revising in the school library with my friend (the naturally skinny one who I don't talk to much anymore) and because I had to disappear for half an hour to go to the doctor's I told her a part of it. I just said I was really stressed and I might be getting antidepressants to help with the stress. She just accepted it and moved on with the conversation. I'm glad. I actually managed to have a functional conversation with her as well. It's a start to getting some of my friends back after isolating myself for so long.

Then I came home and felt like binging so I used a technique Clear Girl gave me to help with my purging, and I ate a plate of lettuce instead. Obviously I couldn't finish the whole plate because I got full up quickly, then I didn't feel like binging any more. It worked so well.

And then I bought a Lana Del Rey ticket!! London 20th May. I'm so excited. It's five days after my birthday, so it's so perfect. Just after my 18th birthday. It's the first thing I've been excited about for ages.
I want to be so skinny by then. I want to wear some kind of amazing clothes (just after my birthday so I can get the perfect outfit as my present), and it will be the best day of my life. Haha, I'm so excited.

However, I had set today as a deadline. I wanted to reach 126 lbs by today, my first goal weight. I failed just like I always do. So I'm giving myself another week. Next Wednesday I need to get there.
I need to start actually doing something. I keep thinking 'I've got a year until I'm going on holiday and need to be skinny, I have time', but I said the same this time last year, and here I am, still fat.
I want to make some kind of achievable restriction plan to stick to, but I don't know what yet. Any suggestions? I'm not thinking the world's most rapid weightloss. I want to lose 30-40lbs in 6 months. It's achievable if I stay on track.

Love you all, thank you so much for your comments on my last post. You have no idea how much it means to me that you guys actually care about me.
I seriously love you all.