I'm back from Holland now, it was amazing. Thanks so much to everyone who commented on my last post.
I just got back and found out my family decided to 'repaint' my room while I was away. So they've rearranged my room, including moving my bed and chest of drawers to the other side of the room, and they've gone through all my stuff to 'tidy'. My diary, which contains the stuff too personal and deep for even this blog, it has thinspo, suicide notes, my worse days, my best days etc. in it; all ED related, and they've found it and moved it. It doesn't have a lock or anything, so I bet they've read it. They also lined up my razor blades across my bedside table. What the fuck?
And they've found my secret, expensive, accurate scales which I hid under my bed, because now they've moved to behind the door.
All the empty boxes of laxatives I hid under my bed have been thrown away, the diet pills boxes, the endless food wrappers from b/p.
They've literally just come into my room and violated my privacy in every way.
And what's worse is they haven't mentioned it. They acted normal all evening. Someone lined up my blades for me, someone found my scales, someone probably had a flick through my diary; but not a single one of them cares enough to ask.
I have therapy tomorrow, fuck! All my therapy assessment letters were just lying around. Fuck, what the fuck am I meant to do if they've read all my letters?
I'm freaking out.
I can't even write any more, I didn't even think about that until now.
Shit. I hate my family.
What the actual fuck?! That is so wrong!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry your family did this. More than sorry, I'm angry. Lining up razor blades?! Throwing out laxative boxes, and not a word said?!
I hope you confront them about it, or they say something. I can't believe they did that :-/
Love you miss. I hope you're okay, apart from this crap <3 xxxx
I'm so very sorry! What a terrible, terrible nightmare. I walked into my mum ransacking my room before. I came home from work, my stuff everywhere, laxatives and diet pills flushed, thinspo ripped to pieces, and diary open. I know what an incredible invasion of privacy this feels like. Betrayal is an understatement. My mum called a family meeting and told all my siblings that I was sticking my finger down my throat. I don't know what's worse... getting it out in the open or having the family just pretend like nothing is wrong. I'm so so sorry :-(
ReplyDeleteThey had absolutely no right to do that! I'm so sorry that they did that, and I'm also angry, as I know how difficult it is to spend so much time and effort hiding personal stuff like that only for the secrecy to be effectively ripped apart and spilled everywhere. And for them not even to say anything is just wrong, surely they should realise that it will just mess with you even more?!
ReplyDeleteTake a deep breath, and remember that you've done nothing wrong, so even if they try and yell at you it's not your fault. Try and stay strong. I hope you're okay<3 xxx
Oh dear, I've been there before, with drug related items. Parents did the same, just threw it all out and didn't speak a word. its hurtful to have your privacy invaded and when things that aren't "considered" normal are found to just have everyone look the other way. It must be eating your insides and flaring up your paranoia hunn, I know it did so to me.
ReplyDeleteTry to keep calm and if nothing is mentioned in a few days, find new hidding spots as the previous ones will be subject to observation from now on.
Ugh, my mom is the same way. Not that she invaded my privacy when I lived at home, just that occasionally she would find things I wanted to hide from her--liquor bottles, laxatives, condoms--and wouldn't say anything. And that thing with your razors is really fucked up. Like, beyond fucked up. And kind of creepy.
ReplyDeleteThat is so frigging wrong. Just because you live at home they have NO RIGHT to invade your privacy!
ReplyDeleteThat's awful; I can't believe they did that! I find lining up your blades kinda sick too, like they want you to cut or something. Maybe that's just me. It also sounds like 'repaint' was an excuse to go through your stuff when you weren't there? I'm so mad for you xx
ReplyDeleteThat is insane. They shouldn't have done that. That is such a violation of your privacy, and lining up the blades was kinda sick...
ReplyDeleteI feel your anger. I am so so so sorry that they did that... I hope that you are at least a little bit okay with this, eventually. Not right now. Sending love your way. Xxx
Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Are you Ok ?
ReplyDeleteHave you tried talking with them since ?
That's horrible, violating one's privacy is a crime. I wish I could just slap them. I'm so so sorry. I really hope you're alright.
I'm sending you all my love and support.
<3
Hi. I have missed reading your blogs. I am going to go back and read all the ones I missed.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you had a great new year and then here comes the family....I mean even I am in shock. I don't know anyone's family who would do that. I mean change everything around. I want to know why. Why would they do that. If they know you, they should have know not to do it.
The only time my mom turned my room upside down is when she was searching it for stuff I was not suppose to have. But them moving my stuff. lol, would never happen. I have too much and they are too lazy.