It was pretty undramatic.
I was in one of my rare moods where I was actually quite happy. He said my blood test results came back normal so I don't have to worry about that
He gave me the options of the charity counseling service or my school nurse at the start of the appointment; I said I really didn't care what happened.
But then he clearly wanted to find a cause, I looked at his computer screen and it said: "no obvious causes: school stress?" in bold letters. So he seemed eager to find something to blame it on.
He asked about school, friends, boyfriends, family etc. Then he finally said "your dad's ill isn't he? How do you think you cope with that?" And at that point I started crying, and he looked horrified at himself for making me cry. I could see him blaming everything on that (my dad is really rude to everyone, and I think my doctor hates him because my dad's such a dick). He asked me if his stroke affected me much because he was fine before it, then I made the mistake of saying "I was seven, I can't even remember a time when he was 'normal'."
He changed the subject back to school stress and said he'll try and contact my school nurse when I said I was falling behind in classes.
Then after reading over my notes he decided that instead of bothering with the charity counseling, he wants to refer me straight to the 'adolescent mental health' team or something. And I have to go back to see him in two weeks, because it will probably take months for the mental health people to return his messages.
He also said he really wants to talk to my mum, but that he can't force me to tell her. But then he said if I don't tell her then I'll have to start thinking up excuses for all the appointment letters I'll get if the referral goes through.
Any suggestions?
I was thinking of saying they're just blood donor letters, and hoping no one opens them by accident.
My dad has the same initials as me, so sometimes he opens letters addressed to me by accident if it just has my initial and last name.
I don't know. I'm in a surprisingly good mood despite everything.
I hope everyone's okay.
Love you all.
I'm so glad your tests came back normal. I've been checking on here all day to see if you had received your results. You make a choice that you feel comfortable with at the moment. Don't ever let them pressure you, or make you feel overwhelmed by everything. I love you so much & I hope your good mood lasts
ReplyDeleteglad your in a good mood chick.. :) like ruby i am glad too, and she is right dont let them push you into anything, you dont have to do anything or agree to anything and he must respect your wishes and autonomy.
ReplyDeletei love you <3 so so much. xx
Glad your mood has improved :) It's brilliant your tests came back fine! And just do what you think is good for you :) Don't let anybody make decisions for you :) xx
ReplyDeletejust say that youre stressed about school and that those mental health providers are trying to help you with time management of homework and things like that because stress has a negative affect on teens and they want to teach/coach teens how to deal with stresses of life early on so they dont because stressed out adults like most ppl in this world.
ReplyDeleteglad your tests were good and hope things are sorted out for you without any parental involvement.. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm glad your tests went ok, that's great news :)
ReplyDeleteAs for the excuses for your parents about the appointments and letters, you could always try talking to them about it? Otherwise telling them they are donor letters is a good idea, but if they find out you will probably have to talk about it anyway? Is it possible you could ask for the appointment letters to be given to you in person when you are there, or over the phone?
I hope it all works out ok, I just want the best for you *hugs*
Alice xx
I hate going to the doctors because I always feel like they treat me as if they have more important things to deal with :(
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're feeling happier :) I've just been reading through your blog!