I just felt my mood shift, like something had taken over my brain. One second I was fine and reading through blogs, the next I literally couldn't read any more.
Why hasn't he replied?
I don't want to be a whiny bitch, but fuck.
Why am I such an idiot?
I'm just typing because the tears are already building up, I'm just putting off the inevitable breakdown.
How can he leave this with no fucking consequences?
I've spent my day planning which pharmacy to go to for the morning after pill, then stressing because it's only 85% effective. I can't walk up stairs without being in pain. I feel like a cheap, dirty slag.
And he doesn't even have time to text me? Or to at least say whether or not he's found my ring which I NEED back.
Fuck, it's because I'm too fucking fat.
I said when my ex dumped me that I would lose ALL this weight before anyone else ever saw me naked, and here I am over a year later, after being too scared to let anyone in for ages I finally do, and they do the same.
I will lose all this weight, and people won't hate me, I won't repulse people.
Maybe when I'm skinny I'll be worth more than a cheap one night stand.
Hey beautiful, you are worth more than that, really, please believe it and don't put yourself down like that. I don't know why he would not reply, maybe he has no credit on his phone? But it is definitely not your body. Also, even if this guy does not appreciate you, you are wonderful and that is his problem, please don't let it control how you feel about yourself. Take care darling <3
ReplyDeleteAlice xx
Sending you a hug, sweetie. x
ReplyDeleteI tried to read your previous post to figure out what happened, but, honestly, I couldn't get through it. It was just so painful for me to hear how hurt you were. You are a beautiful angel and some really perfect guy is going to see that in you. You just have to let people see it.
ReplyDeleteYou are not dirty and you are not cheap, love. You are beautiful. Some guys are just assholes, and I know how hard that is t deal with, to never know if you're going to find something good or get torn down again. I'm sorry it was the latter for you. :( I wish I could be there for you more, but I'm so far away and words are all I have. I'm happy to talk any time, I love you. Take care. Xxxxx
ReplyDeleteSweetheart, I wish there were words that could whisk your pain away. Boys are callous, but he might also be intimidated by the fact that he took your virginity. Just try bothering him about the ring and nothing else. Any man would be beyond lucky to have you, unfortunately this one doesn't seem to be worth your affection.
ReplyDeleteOh sweetheart, don't ever think so little of yourself! You are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI am sure there is a reason, give him a few more days, he will contact you.
This has nohing to do with your weight. You are not fat. You are beautiful. You really are not the one to blame.
Trust me! You did nothing wrong. You're not a slut, you're not stupid, you are not too fat for him and you are not unworthy of being loved.
I know it may be difficul now but try not to put to much pressure on yourself right now.
Lay down on your bed, close you eyes and sing along your favourite song. Breathe.
I love you xX
You're beautiful and it's not you or your weight; it's him being a massive insensitive tool. Lots of hugs <3 xxx
ReplyDeleteOh honey :( I'm so sad to read about this. I saw when you first posted it, but I couldn't think of anything to say, and I still can't really. I am so sorry that he's treated you like this. Like others have said, he is an asshole and a tool.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't a reflection on you or your body - it's him being a complete slimeball asscheese fuckhead.
Sorry for the language.
Please don't beat yourself up over this. I love you so so much and you deserve so much better than him doing a hit & run.
Don't forget how precious you are. Just because someone treated you wrongly, doesn't make you cheap. Its a reflection on him and his actions, not you. You did nothing wrong.
Sending you lots of love & hugs. I hope you're okay xxxxxxxx
I think most women feel that way. Shoot even some men. When you get dumped you want them to regret dumping you. You want them to come back begging for forgiveness just so you tell them no. At least that is how it is for me.
ReplyDeleteEven being married I am scared for my husband to see me a certain way or do certain things because I do not feel pretty or thin enough. I have shared this with him. I am hoping when I reach my 2nd goal weight I will be able to open up a bit more.