Red wine

I'm sorry I didn't write another post last night like I promised.
I don't even really have time to be writing this one.

I have coursework due tomorrow, and still have 600 words to go (which isn't even very much, I should just get on with it and finish it), but because my mind is a dysfunctional idiot I've barely written 10 words in the past hour.
I even went downstairs for a 'diet coke break', and came back up with a large glass of red wine (I've purged a lot today so it's hit me embarrassingly quickly) so my coursework will probably make no sense by the time I actually do it.

I'm going out tomorrow night, properly out. I don't even have a proper ID so I'll probably get rejected from everywhere, but I'll just get drunk enough to not care. I hate that most of my friends are turning 18 and I have to wait until May.
But I want to look nice tomorrow. Last week I thought we were just going out for a couple of drinks at the place which don't ID, so I didn't dress up, I came out in denim shorts and a vest top, but then everyone decided to try and get into clubs and my outfit backfired. So tomorrow I'm going to try and look nice, I've realised I've stopped making any effort with my looks other than my weight.
I plucked my eyebrows today, for the first time in probably weeks.
My mum took me shopping for clothes for Christmas, I haven't bought new clothes for months.
The people I'm going out with tomorrow are mostly male friends. I never make any effort when I go out with them, one of them is the one I kissed a while ago (not the one I slept with - wow I sound like such a slut), and really he doesn't even like me because it changed nothing, I don't want to be 'one of the guys'.
When I first started going out with them it was okay because they all treated me like a girl, and would walk me home and offer to buy me drinks and be nice, but then they made friends with 'super skinny friend' and my other friend who I started my diet with back in January. They're both blonde and skinnier than me, and suddenly I don't matter to my male friends. They text my friends instead of me, and while they don't exclude me I just hate that I'm the last to be invited.
One of the guys who I talk to the least - he's quite weird and the definition of 'edgy', he has snuff (I think that's what it's called? The tobacco that you snort) instead of smoking, and wears turtle necks and tweed coats, but not in a badly dressed way, he's actually strangely well dressed - texted me randomly last night and started a conversation, we texted a lot today, and he's out tomorrow with the same people as me, and even though we never talk he said he can't wait to see me.
Like I've known him for years but never really spoken to him properly, I'm definite he doesn't fancy me, in fact I've probably had flings or drunken moments with most of his friends over the years, we have millions of mutual friends, I don't know why he texted me, or how we even have each other's numbers.
Wow that was such a ramble, that red wine definitely hit me more than it should have.
Point being; I want to look nice tomorrow. I hope I won't have to eat, though I'm scared I'll get too drunk and be embarrassing if I don't eat.

What did I just write?
I think all I meant to say was "I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday, I'll write again about how the therapy and everything went."
I need to finish this coursework. I don't feel like I'm going to sleep tonight, so after the coursework I might post again.
Love you guys.