Sunday, 8 April 2012

Easter

I used to love Easter. I used to think any excuse to eat more than usual was great. No wonder I've ended up so fat.
I don't really know what I'm going to do today, I really think my mum's getting suspicious, she must have noticed something when she tidied my room.
So far today I've eaten a small, and I mean small, chocolate bunny. I was going to throw it up, but then my parents started having a huge argument, and I got too distracted and left it too long.
I'm going to my nan's for 'Easter tea' this afternoon. She said it will just be sandwiches and cake. I hope I'll be able to eat the bare minimum, and throw up everything easily because her bathroom's right at the back of the house. Because we're going round at 4/5ish I'm hoping I can convince everyone I'm eating lunch and dinner in one when I'm there.
Last night I went up to my friend's house, and just got drunk with her in her local park (classy I know), and talked about everything for hours. (She just found out her boyfriend slept with someone else - someone who's not even legally old enough - it's disgusting.)
We started having a heart-to-heart about weight loss, she's the only friend who actually notices when I skip meals, and she lost 2 stone over summer last year before anyone noticed, so it was a long heart-to-heart. I feel like such a bitch, she knows I'm not losing weight the healthy waty, I even told her about this blog, although I told her it's completely annoymous so she'll never be able to find it. I managed to convince her that I'm eating completely normally now, just cutting back on snacks. I almost admitted I'm throwing most things back up, but I know she'd stop me, and I'm really not ready to be stopped yet.

My friend who's dieting with me in away in Cornwall for a week now. This is going to be such a hard week, whenever there's food in my house that I know I'll eat I normally text her and we meet up and distract each other from food. I'm stressing out without her.
Sorry this is such a rambling post, I basically have no progress to say diet wise. I've stayed at the same weight as yesterday, and I feel disgustingly fat.
Spending time with my skinny friend always makes me feel shit. She's a size 6, I'm a size 10. That pretty much sums up everything.
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3 comments:

  1. Cleona9 April 2012 at 18:09

    I used to love Easter too but now any holidays my family makes ahuge dinner (and they don't know how to cook so its gross) and then my "transgender" cousin comes over with his/her boyfriend and mom and they're vegetarian but they always bring the nastiest food too. But i'm always forced to eat "/

    Keep those size 8 pants that you wrote about previously and stick them next to your mirror and do your jumping jacks and workouts while staring at them. You'll be okay just stay strong and every single time you pick up food just for the hell of it think about it and those pants and how if you snack and eat that food those pants are becoming a further goal to reach.

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    1. The Lovely Bones9 April 2012 at 18:59

      I hate holidays where you have to eat, yesterday turned into a bit of a disaster in the end.

      Good plan. I'll try that. My mum goes back to work tomorrow, so I'll be able to skip breakfast and lunch without anyone noticing. I'm not leaving my house all week due to revision, so I'm hoping I'll be strong enough to just stay in my room and work or exercise all day, without stuffing my face.
      Thanks for all the advice!

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    2. Cleona9 April 2012 at 21:47

      If it's nice enough outside just go for walks all throughout the day visit little stores that you've never been to. Occupy your time. I hate sitting at home because I always end up looking in the kitchen out of boredom. Anytime of course! <3

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