I've narrowed it down to two options for me: 1) eat healthily and continue to hate myself, or 2) admit I don't want help and continue to diet until I reach a weight where I can finally feel comfortable in my own skin.
The second option is my clear winner.
Today I've eaten:
- 3 digestive biscuits (174 calories)
- chicken and mushroom pot noodle (382 calories)
Total so far: 556 calories.
I ate all of that in a purging mindset, then remembered I'm trying to stop and that, minus the biscuits, it wasn't really bad enough to need to purge. So it will just have to stay. But tomorrow I'm going to do better and get back on track. I know I say that a lot, but I'm fed up of losing weight then gaining it all back again. I haven't hit a target weight for months. I've hovered 2 or 3 lbs above of way too long.
That guy, who you're all probably fed up of hearing about, invited me to the cinema on Sunday. I'm going to try and not get my hopes up too much in case he cancels last minute, but I still want to look great then. Not horrible and bloated from a binge.
I need to go and tidy my room now, it literally looks like a bomb site, it disgusts me to go into my room because it's such a mess. With no exaggerations.
I'll probably post again later with an endless stream of thinspiration to keep me motivated and stop me from the binge I can feel calling to me.
Thank you so much for all of your relentless support. You're amazing!
Your plan sounds like a good one, best of luck with it. I'm also trying not to purge, today is my second day not purging.
ReplyDeleteThat's great your going to the cinema with your boy, hope you enjoy yourself, much love xxx
Thank you. I hope the none purging is going well with you. I've improved a bit, but not completely. I really hope things are looking up for you. Thanks so much for all your support. You're amazing.
DeleteGood luck with everything(:
ReplyDeleteI hope it all goes well xoxo
Thank you so much.
DeleteYou did good with your intake even with the binge mind set.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you when it comes the guy. I don't mind you talking about him at all. I was even taken by him in the beginning and even now. But like you said it's like he let you down so many times. I hope he comes through smoothly this time.
I have been cleaning for the past 3 weeks. Yet the apartment is still not as clean as I would want it. My husband doesn't do any cleaning at all.( I think this is due to him having to clean and take care of his mom until he was 22 )
I hope you have a good day tomorrow.
Thanks. I'll let you know how it goes with him. It's a bit confusing at the moment.
DeleteI forgot how much a love cleaning, or at least the results of cleaning. My room was such a mess before, and now I'm manically obsessing so it won't get even slightly messy again. I would hate to share with someone messy, especially to share a bedroom, I like to have everything in an exact place in my room, haha.
Hope you're okay?
Hey, I just found your blog, and I really like it!
ReplyDeleteTidying the room is a good idea! I also feel bad when my flat is a mess, but it can be a huge motivation to tidy up so that you feel comfortable :)
Have a great weekend, I hope everything goes as you want it to go.
Ivo.
Thank you. I'm trying to follow you back but my website won't let me today, I'll keep trying though, it's just some technical fault I think.
DeleteI've read through all your posts, I love your blog too.
Thanks so much for the follow.
Whatever makes you happy is always the best option, IMO :) Best of luck with everything <3 All my love
ReplyDeletexxBella
Thank you. Hope you're okay. Congratulations with your weight loss recently.
DeleteI'm really proud of you wanting to get back on track.
ReplyDeleteAnd i'm certainly not fed up with your story with the guy!! I hope sunday's going to be great! You so have to post a review afterwards xD
You really deserved to be love... With that love, you'll see, you'll gradually be able to feel more confortable with yourself.
Love xX
Haha, thanks. You're so lovely, I don't know what I'd do without you.
DeleteI hope everything's going well with you at the moment?
Enjoying your Summer?
Hey, you can absolutely do this. I am the same. I lose weight but I gain it all back and never get anywhere, so frustrating! But I am still determined to get this weight off and reach my goal, and I know you can too :) Great intake for today, I love digestive bscuits they are so evil lol.
ReplyDeleteAlice xx
We can definitely get back on track and do this together.
DeleteThank you, and I know. Digestive biscuits are ridiculously nice, haha.