I'm as busy as a beaver. It's the new simile I've decided to spread, I've already got most of my friends using it. You may also be 'stressed as a beaver'. Beavers have a whole host of emotions.
Jeez, my workload has got to my head.
The morale of that was that I haven't got time to reply to comments, but they're all emailed to my phone, so I've read and loved every single comment I've received, I just don't have time to reply right now.
Oh and 'Just Another Ordinary Girl', all the comments on my really old posts are making my day. You literally don't understand how manically I've been smiling all day because of the wonderfully sweet comments you've been leaving.
Anyway, long story short: I've fucked my ABC diet. Binged/purged grossly. Eaten normally for two days. Feel obese because of how much I've eaten. Realise I didn't even eat very much, why the hell do I feel so bad when I probably didn't over go over 700 calories on my heaviest 'binge' day?
My friend is on a 'break' from her fucking cheating boyfriend. The break was even her idea, and she's meeting up with some other guy during the break to see if she can get over him. I shouldn't be happy because she's pretty upset, but I'm glad she's finally getting the courage to leave and realising she can survive without him.
I met that guy for coffee again today. It was cute. We still didn't kiss, but this time he sat with his arm around me for ages. And we just chatted about relationships, exs and stuff like that. It was raining so we were sitting under some scaffolding because it was dry, and he had his arm round my waist; then a random woman walked past and said "Aw, don't you two look romantic." It was so cute, it wasn't even awkward when she said it, we just both started laughing loads. We even went to the Disney shop and talked about our favourite childhood films and shit, it was like a proper bonding day.
Tomorrow he's going to a houseparty near my house, and he said he'll ring me once he's there, and if it's good then he'll come and meet me and we can go together. And even if I don't see him tomorrow we're going for drinks on Saturday night. I actually feel that for once he might actually like me for me. Normally I get together with guys because we kiss drunk, then kiss sober, then kiss or hook up so frequently that it's more polite to ask me out than anything. But this time it's all going so slowly, and I'm getting to know him as a person rather than as some guy. Sorry, I haven't had anyone to text/ring about this yet, so you're on the receiving end of my overly girly, over analytical rant.
He even said me constantly playing with my hair was "adorable". God, I'm being stupid. I bet by tomorrow I'll find out that he's fucking some slut, and that he was just playing me. He's too good for me. Like not in a depressed 'I hate my life way', but in that he goes to this fucking expensive posh school, and I go to one of the roughest free schools. He has a macbook and like everything he could want from life, and I have a dell laptop that I have to tilt the screen at a stupidly acute angle otherwise the screen just goes blank. And he's popular and has a social life, whereas I'm not disliked, but not really noticed by many people, and I don't have an ID so the only places I can go out to are the underage pubs and jailbait clubs, which I'd rather not go to. Plus he's good looking, I know he can get with a lot of girls. On nights out he's got with fuck loads of people, I was pretty convinced he was a bit of a player. But when I've met him he's been a fucking gentleman, other than putting his arm around me he hasn't tried to come on to me at all, and he hinted that we might have some form of future together more than once. What the hell? This doesn't happen to me. No one ever fucking likes me for anything other than my boobs.
My god, I wanted an early night because my A levels have literally drained my energy, but I've spent about half an hour rambling about crap. I apologise.
I have so much love for every single one of you who take the time to read this crap that I call a blog. You keep me sane. I genuinely would be so lost without you guys.
I PROMISE YOU I WILL HAVE TIME TO REPLY TO YOUR COMMENTS TOMORROW! I've just planned my schedule around comment replies.
You are good enough. Don't beat yourself up and be so negative. I'm like that all the time and you see how good that does me? Let yourself be vulnerable accept that he may actually like you, because you are very likable. But it's a good idea do take it slow with him, and if you do go to the party with him DON'T DRINK so it doesn't become that type of relationship. You are good enough <3
ReplyDeleteaww you are so adorable! of course he likes you for you! we all like you for you!! not your boobs, although I am sure they are lovely <3 lol glad things are going ok with him, hat disney store stuff is so cute! sounds like you two get on like a house on fire <3 and hey dont think hes too good for you - just cos hes rich it doesnt mean annnything! Trust me. Hold your head up high girl <3 Much love! xx
ReplyDeleteThis day was so lovely !
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy for you ! There is no doubt that he likes you for who you are!
I hope you'll have a great time at the party together. You really deserve someone to make you happy :)
Hey beautiful, I know the insecurity is always there but you can't let it win, he likes you for you! There is no reason to think otherwise! He sounds sweet and I hope you are happy :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, don't feel bad about the binge, 700 calories is not much, it just seems like a lot because the cals for the ABC are so low, you're doing great.
Alice xx
Don't worry about the ABC die. I wont be starting until sunday. I have totally fucked up this week and gained back almost all of the weight I lost. Smh.
ReplyDeleteAnyway this guy does sound nice. I am glad you are taking things slow with him. He sounds like a nice guy. If you want to date him I would recommend telling him so you know where he stands. So much better to be up front than to drag things on.
Have a good day tomorrow.