Slut

I went out drinking last night. I'm scared to even look at how many calories there are in the entire bottle of wine I had to myself. Also because I knew I was going to be drinking I made myself eat dinner and keep it down, I was getting sick of always getting overly trashed because I haven't eaten. 

Also, I've decided to be completely honest on this blog, even if everyone judges me for it. I don't know if anybody remembers my post on here from a few weeks ago where I drunk half a bottle of gin on an empty stomach and ended up kissing loads of guys and almost stripping on webcam to one of my guy friends? It was basically just a post about how hanging I was, along with my vow to never get too drunk and be a slut again. Hah, that didn't last long.

Yesterday I ended up kissing the guy who I kind of stripped for on webcam. But I asked him about that, and he said my bra was on the whole time so I haven't got anything to be embarrassed about. He walked me home again and we ended up going quite far, not having sex or anything, but still pretty far. 

I still haven't spoken to my other guy friend, the one I kissed two days ago, but I feel like such a slut. Especially as I kissed them both in the exact same place, like just down the road from my house, so if any neighbours looked out the window they must think I'm such a slag. 

He promised not to tell anyone about what happened between us, and I do trust him. I'm almost positive he hasn't told anybody about the webcam incident, one of his friends would have made an awkward joke about it already if he had. 

Also yesterday when things were happening between us he had his hand on my bare stomach for a lot of the time. I felt so uncomfortable, but I knew he'd comment on it if I moved his hand, so I just had to deal with it. It didn't help that he's so fit, like as in a defined six pack, works out daily, but not in an over the top gross way. He's basically perfect. With him I actually felt like a pig. 

It's just over a month until I'm going to the festival. One month to shed the last bit of fat on my stomach, and to make my legs less disgusting. I really hope I can do this.