I cannot believe that 100 people would choose to listen to my nonsensical ramblings.
Thank you thank you thank you.
I love you all so much. I don't know what I was expecting when I first started this blog, but I never thought I would meet so many wonderful, beautiful and kind friends. I'm closer to many of you than I am to my friends who I've known since childhood. Thank you so much to each and every one of you.
This is motivated me so much. I'm fed up of posting only negative things, I want something positive to tell you guys. I don't want to disappoint 100 people by failing over and over. I'm going to stay strong and positive for you guys.
I want my life back on track, and I think cutting out the bad things is where I'm going to start.
My guy friend who uses me? I don't need him. If he makes an effort and texts me then fine, I'll reply, but I'm done making an effort with him when he clearly doesn't care.
My self diagnosed bulimia? I don't need it. I've met a girl through this blog who had the strength to beat her bulimia without professional help, if she can do it then so can I. I don't eat because I'm hungry, I eat because I'm lazy and greedy.
My self harm? I don't need it. I stopped for months before and let my friend's (now ex) boyfriend get to me and cause me to break down and relapse. I was stronger than that, it just makes me feel worse the next day, now I hate myself and can't even curl into a ball or lie on my front because my thighs are too damaged, I can stop if I actually try.
It's a new school year soon, and I chance to start afresh and reinvent myself. Do I want to reinvent myself as a emotional wreck who copes using binge eating, purging, self harming and drinking to get me through any rough patches; or do I want to be the successful, skinny girl I've always wanted, who copes in situations without self destructing.
I know I'm being overly optimistic right now, but so many other people manage to be happy and skinny, without wanting to kill themselves whenever they have a bad day, if they can do it why can't I?
To kick start my new positive attitude, have a shit load of my favourite thinspo:
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Love you all so much. Thank you for your relentless supportive comments, you'll all complete and utter angels (or cherubs as my friend always says instead).
Loved this positive post
ReplyDeleteI believe in you and I've no doubt that you can overcome your demons.
Bulimia is a bitch and I've lived with her for too long, it's time she moved on, it's time I moved on
You deserve all the love and support you get,
Sending you more love and a hug x
Thank you so much for your comment.
DeleteI really hope I can beat it, and I really hope you can too.
You're the strongest person I know, genuinely.
You've beaten so so so much in your life, I know you can beat this bitch of bulimia too.
Love you.
Oh darling you have 100 followers cos you're amazing and everyone can see that! and babe, you are on the right track - I am so so so *SO* happy for you that you are feeling to not make an effort with this guy and that you wanna kick binging and purging - I self harmed since I was about 12/13 (not sure when it started but I was young) and I stopped last year - and I havent self harmed since! It can be done! It doesnt mean the urge completely goes but there are better less destructive ways to cope. *like telling Rayya all about it* hehe I love you honey! Yes you can definitely make this year count, become the person you want to be, be Skinny AND Successful. We can cope with this, its all about a balance (remember what we talked about..)
ReplyDeleteLove you darling, I for one am here for the long haul and we can do this together. You deserve happiness my doll, and I am gonna see to it that happiness is what you get!
LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH! X
See, I always tell you how strong you are and you never believe me. But you've beaten self harm, that's practically mission impossible. You're amazing.
DeleteThank you so much for this comment. You're so wonderful. We can do this.
Also I'll reply to your message on my phone in a second, I'm just trying to reply to all my comments first, weird OCD thing, haha.
DeleteI'm so happy for you, you really deserve so much support ! You really deserve those 100 followers. And I must say I'm quite proud to be one of them. (Even if 1/100 doesn't seem a lot, I'm very proud!)
ReplyDeleteI find your optimism so inspiring ! The begining of school year is always a perfect time for changes. I'm confident that you'll be able to control your purge and self harm. I KNOW you're capable of it.
I have 100% faith you can do it !
And I'll always be there to help whenever you're feeling down!
*hug*
Thank you so much darling.
DeleteI love you so much, I will always be here for you.
I know you can do it! It took me some time yes, but I did it. And though i'm not better yet, i'm so much better than I was. I'm here to help you or anyone on your blog if they want it! There is a healthy and easy way to be skinny. You can email me at hugdapuppies@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteIF anyone wants to. (:
Thank you so much for everything you've done for me.
Deleteits definitely all about the positive mental attitude! Those are definitely three bad things that need getting rid of. You will be much happier without them (even if it doesn't seem like it every day). xx
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm trying to remember that when I have weak moments, it's better in the long run to give up what I need in the moment.
DeleteYES. You've totally got this. I'm not sure who you were talking about but recovery without professional help is totally possible. Do things that used to make you happy, keep yourself busy, and surround yourself with people you ACTUALLY LIKE (this one is important), try and make this mood last. I'm so so so proud of you.
ReplyDeletexxx
Haha, thank you so much.
DeleteAll these comments are so inspiring.
Love you.
Loving your attitude gorgeous girl :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your 100 followers! :) Popular laydeh :)! I have my fingers crossed for you and im sure you can get things on track if you can try to keep this attitude <3! I believe in you! (I know that sounds cheesy but I do!)!
If that guy isn’t making an effort, play hard to get, what's that saying, there are plenty of fish in the sea, well make him work for it cos you are a catch! ! As for the self harm and the ED, that is a little more complicated but it’s defiantly a GOOD thing that you want to get on top of it. It makes me so sad hearing about your legs wish I had a special cream that would make it all better for you :(!
High five for the optimism :)
xXx
Thank you, not cheesy at all.
DeleteHahah, thank you. Aw you're so sweet, thank you so so so much for this comment.
Great thinspo and your attitude is really inspiring(:
ReplyDelete100 followers?! Holy :0 That's amazing babe!
I think you deserve them, even if some of your posts are more negative, no one wants to read sunshine and rainbows all the time, right? I post annoyingly sad stuff all the time.
I think you should just work on you for a while, Take your time and let yourself get the body you deserve without all that stress slowing you down. You should try the non-processed diet, I hear it does wonders. It's good for complexion and insanely good for you, though you might want to buy some protein additive so you can remain healthy(:
I wish you the best of luck Xoxo~~
Thank you. I love your blog, it is not annoyingly sad at all. I find out so inspiring.
DeleteI'll research the non-processed diet stuff now, it definitely sounds more healthy. Thanks.
I'm never disappointed in you :) It makes me sad when you're hurting, but only because you're such a wonderful person and deserve the best. That said, I'm so proud of you for taking steps towards your own happiness, because that's what important - to make yourself happy, not because you're worried about failing the people who care about you.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find happiness. We're always here for you, and if anyone calls you a failure or disappointment, I'll be jumping down their throats telling them to get f***ed :) Stay safe dear xx
Aw thank you. I love you so much, you're so wonderful.
DeleteGood for you!! I'm so pleased you've made this step :) It can only keep getting better xx
ReplyDeleteThank you for your support, it truly means so much to me.
DeleteI'm proud to be one your 100 :D
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you so optimistic. It's great you are ready to rid yourself of people that only make you feel bad, you definitely deserve better! Dealing with bulimia and self harm is hard, but I know you can do it. I think beating bulimia is definitely an important step in becoming skinny as well as happy, because lets face it, it doesn't really offer us either of those things. I want you to be happy and wish you the best :) Take care and good luck.
Alice xx
Thank you, it's great that you're so understanding, I always feel like you really understand my struggles when I read your posts, we're quite similar in a lot of ways.
DeleteOnly you're more successful.