Has anyone ever told their parents about their eating habits?
I want help with my purging. It's getting annoying now. I can't restrict without binging and purging. I can't fast without binging and purging. I can't do anything without binging and purging. Even on the days I feel proud of myself for not purging I still take way too many diet pills and laxatives to balance it out. It's taking it's toll, I feel so ill and dizzy all day; but not in an empty way. It's not exhaustion from lack of food, it's exhaustion from the pressure building in my head with every heave.
Also I'm gaining weight. When I started dieting I lost a stone in the first two months, then I discovered purging, gained half a stone, then maintained ever since. Every time I break through my plateau I start binging and purging again and just gain it all back again.
I read somewhere that as long as you're not underweight, then the treatment for purgers is more based on not throwing up, and they won't try and make you eat loads or gain any weight. Plus I read that they can give you anti depressants which help the desire to binge, and can sometimes have the side effect of decreased hunger. I don't know how much of this is true, but it sounds perfect. Something to stop the purging which is messing up my head, but so I can actually gain some control of my life and get healthy/skinny.
So yeah, back to my point. Has anyone ever told their parents about any of this? I can't do it. I physically can't. I keep building it up, but I can never just get it out and say it.
I don't want them to know everything, definitely not. I just want the purging to stop before it gets too out of hand.
Or do you think I would be able to go to my doctor and get the help without my parents finding out? Honestly they don't pay any attention to what I do. I was on the contraceptive pill for months without them noticing, and they've never said anything about the diet pills or anything in my room, so why should they notice me recovering from the illness they never knew I had?
I guess if I never tell them then they never have the chance to let me down. I'd rather they never know, than know and do nothing to help.
Please who say eating disorders are just attention seeking are crazy. No one has more secrets than an eating disordered person. I can find about a million websites telling me how best to conceal purging from my family, but not a single one about how to tell someone.
I know I'll back out anyway and I'll never in a million years actually go to anyone for help, but just in case I ever get the courage, then please. Advice would be so appreciated right now.
Sorry this is so whiny and ranting.
I havent told my parents about my eating habits.. but they always used to tell me that I had eating problems and even told my doctor.. My tactic was to deny everything and obstinately deny (til this day) that I have any issues with food whatsoever so it has become something which they have been forced to accept. Thus I would never think about telling my parents, but every situation is different, I never wanted help, but you do by the sounds of it. Think carefully before you do, because an adult or professionals means of help is very different from what we actually find helpful. However, you could tell your doctor? I know that there are certain medicines that they give to those suffering bulimia which curb binges and thus eliminate the need to purge. But it may not be as simple as that, sometimes it takes our whole attitudes to food to alter before our habits can change.
ReplyDeleteHun, if you are too scared to go to your parents then you can go to the docs, they will refer you to a specialist and if you are not overweight all they will monitor is that you maintain weight but even then they have no power to do anything unless your BMI is emaciated (I think) but they can definitely give you pills..
Love you hun! <3 x
I've always denied everything if my parents seem suspicious, but I don't think they've actually noticed anything.
DeleteI'm so confused, because I don't want to 'recover'. I don't want to be fat, or even fit. I want to be skinny, unhealthily skinny. I don't want to go back to eating without caring, because then I'll just hate myself but not have any willpower to change. And I am happier now I've lost some weight, I wear clothes I would have never worn before.
I just need to stop throwing up. Or at least stop binging. I don't mind throwing up, as long as it's a precaution, and not something I've eaten to do.
Although I've been looking at universities, and it's AAB pretty much everywhere decent to do Psychology. I wonder if I'd do better next year if I ate normally or not. Would it be better to be healthy and hate myself, or be unhealthy but maybe be more motivated and actually do something with my life. I don't even think that made sense.
Sorry I'm rambling so much here. I think I won't tell my parents, all it will achieve is them hanging over my shoulder weighing me and force feeding me so I can never reach my goal weight. Or ignoring it and completely screwing up my head.
Maybe if I went to the doctors about my inability to sleep before 3am and my suspected depression then I could mention in passing the throwing up, and see if they suggest anything. If not I'll just fight this alone. I definitely don't want to give up this mindset completely. I'm not ready to give up on being beautiful yet.
And I just got your text and realised I also could have texted this instead of replying on here, haha. Ah well.
Thank you darling.
You've helped me so much with everything, I don't know what I'd do without you.
LOL and I just thought I would carry on the whole tradition over here we have of writing wall posts.. haha
Deleteaww you have helped me too far more than you will ever know <3
Also yeh that would be a good idea, and make sure you tell them that you are sick and tired of bingeing and then having to throw everything up.. that you wish you could just stop the cycle, but you feel helpless about it..
You know I felt that, and I am aware that my eating has negatively affected my studies.. I did so badly in first year because my kidneys almost failed during exams and I was too absorbed in revising to go to the doctors and when I was rushed to hospital it was just in the nick of time and I still have bad kidney and liver problems now.. :\ thats the reason I am trying to have a more "healthier approach" like restrict but try and exercise too (which I am failing at miserably) look at the best anas, Nicole Ritchie.. she was seen eating, hosting barbecues, but she also was always seen exercising - and I think its about finding a balance. Being like this but LIVING too. Thats the key to being successful, if we can do that and maintain control then we will be gorgeous and successful! <3
LOVE YOU
I thought I'd replied to this already, sorry darling.
DeleteIt's messed up how the 'more healthy approach' is basically starving whilst exercising. Probably worse than starving alone.
But yeah I get you, if you know you have to lose weight to be happy then there's no point fighting against it, just find a way to work around it.
LOVE YOU TOO!
I never had to tell my parents as I didn't seek any sort of counseling until I was away at university. I went to the campus shrink for my anxiety about my eating habits (or lack of eating, I should say) and living with three other people, two of whom were strangers. As my weight wasn't quite unhealthy then (my bmi was around 17.9 at the time), she just referred me to a nutritionist. I didn't want to be on medication because I'm not a fan of strange chemicals in my body, but I was offered anti-depressants, no questions asked.
ReplyDeleteBinge/purge cycles are detrimental to your body, your metabolism, and your mental state. So love, if you're thinking you want help with it, please do it. Your parents don't ever have to know, just seek some counseling. If your weight isn't in an emaciated range, and you don't offer too much information on how you're trying to lose weight, a nutritionist or therapist can help immensely with breaking binge/purge habits. They may give you a diet plan, or ask you to keep a record of what you eat and what you were feeling each time you ate. Then once you feel you have a handle on the situation, then you can walk away from counseling.
I found a kind of strange balance when I was in therapy, taking the meal plans they gave me and severely restricting the portions and calories of everything they recommended I eat. It helped a lot with my anxiety from eating around my roommates while still keeping me sane because I knew I was in control of every calorie that went in my body.
But, this is just a suggestion based on my experience. Medications may also help you, and some of them even have the benefit of making you lose your appetite, but please, please do your own research before you put any strange chemicals in your body. Some of those medications really mess with your brain chemistry.
Much love to you, I hope you are well.
I told my mother, but she seemed apathetic and did not so much as suggest I seek any outside help... but that's my mother, not yours. It did feel good to finally get it off my chest at the very least. I still sought counseling either way.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on the situation. But regardless of whether you tell them, you are the one who controls how much effort you put into recovering. It's a give-take relationship, so success is based on your own willingness, whether or not anyone knows about it, aside from the therapist you are working with.
Since a specialist would have more experience, I would discuss it with them first, and then you can both come up with ways to approach it with your family. It helps to have someone on your side who understands, and can lend support to your words beforehand.
I wish you well.
My mum knows I have strange eating habits- she knows I was a fussy kid and that I'm sensitive to certain things in foods so I can mention some of my odd habits and twist it to fit her ideas of my eating. I think if I were bulimic it would have gone like when I was bullied- nothing at all for months and then an emotional outburst because I needed help. I think it would still go like that even though I don't live with her anymore.
ReplyDeleteDoctors aren't supposed to discuss your issues with your parents- mine won't even when I've told them it's alright with me. A doctor is probably your best bet. xx
Damn I would never dare to tell them.
ReplyDeleteThey would either not believe me, and tell me I'm stupid and that I'm just trying to follow what I see in fashion magazine, or they would directly send me to a nut house !
I thing however that talking to someone else about it might be a good thing. Maybe with a sister you get on well with, or a doctor. You surely don't have to tell your parents about seeing a doctor. There even are some hospitals that offer free help for girls with ED that need to talk to someone. (I don't know if that exists in England too tough.)
I have a friend that had an ED, and she went to a few free sessions with psychiatrists and told me that helped her a lot.
If you need, I could try and ask her more about that.
Lots of love !
That's exactly what happened to me, I told my mom and she just avoided the subject. Which only made me want to b/p more. I finally had to tell my grandmother because my health issues are so serious now. She's helping me with all my dr appointments and everything. I go to counseling weekly which really helps with my b/p cycle.. I know this probably didn't help with your situation but I just thought I'd let you know your not alone and wanting to stop b/ping. I've been trying for months/:
ReplyDeleteI never had to tell my mum - she told me, actually. I'd lost 20kg and didn't realize anything was wrong, and my mum asked me if I thought I might be developing Anorexia. The rest, as they say, is history.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 12-14 I struggled with 'bulimia' (though I think I was misdiagnosed, and more of a purging-subtype anorexic), and I honest to god can't remember how my mum found out. I know I was already seeing a psychiatrist at the time, but I can't remember if I told him/my mum or if a friend did or what... But I got help to stop purging (though the issues were never dealt with), and even after I developed Anorexia I have rarely purged since I was 14. It'll always give me that little rush and relief when I do, but its only been a handful of times.
Sorry for being so incredibly unhelpful. I hope you can get to the doctor one day soon and get help with the purging. Xx
You weren't unhelpful at all, that really did. It's quite nice to hear about someone who managed to stop their purging, although developing into anorexia isn't positive. You've had such a tough time, I wish I could make you happy.
DeleteThank you for your comment.