I seem to have gone absolutely mental.
I don't know why, or what's even different, but nothing makes sense any more.
Downing diet coke because you want to purge but can't bring yourself to eat anything? What has happened to my life..?
I feel like I keep making massive discoveries about myself, but then I forget them again moments later. Just to try and keep a record of my thoughts I'm going to ramble a bit here (as usual), my apologies.
Actually scrap that, I tried to ramble but I had nothing concise enough to really deserve my writing.
I can't even ramble properly any more. What is my life?
I'm still looking forward to Winter, even though the bloody purging has ruined my weight loss for too long now. I need to stop it. I just don't know how.
I'm not making sense right now, I'm too cold, yet still too hot. I'm just weird.
Sorry, I'll update properly another time when I'm not randomly crying about anything.
Sending you a big ol' virtual hug... I hope things brighten up for you soon xx
ReplyDeleteYour life has a meaning. You just need to find it.. Dont give up just yet my dear.. you are amazing and I love you dearly, but hey you already know that. <3 Maybe the coke has gone to your head? :) or maybe its the moon..
ReplyDeleteLOVE YOU.
Winter.
Think of that my darling.. Everything will be ok.
x
Stay positive and take it easy on the coke! Haha. What is your life? It's YOURS to do what YOU want with so don't get yourself down. xx
ReplyDeleteYour life is worth so much, love. You can do amazing things. Everyone has moments like that, even I do. But I know you can get through them, and i'm always here to talk if you need to. I love you! (:
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel so awful. I wish I could just hold you and make you feel better. Winter is getting closer but that just makes me more motivated to reach my goals by then. I find that, when there is nothing else to do and I am lost and don't know how to change, all it takes is a giant spoonful of determination to push myself out of a situation. You are strong and I know you can do this. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off, square your shoulders to the world and tell it that you can do the impossible- and you can, you can do much more than that. Find someplace warm and comfortable, make yourself feel welcome and then fight through all of this.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it!
xoxo
I almost thought you were talking about me when you mention Winter ;-)
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness at least you are trying to stop binging. I know that is a hard habit to break from what I have been told. I use to keep track of stuff in my journal but over the past year or so I go lazy on top of the fact that I was mostly depressed and I did not want to document me at my worst. I can't even document now. I am afraid too don't know why.
I like and don't like Winter. I love the hot weather so I can show off my hard results of following a good diet and work out plan but during the Winter I can hide and work my butt off to look awesome for the summer. I just know next year is my year to dawn a bikini.
See now I rambled :-P Talk to you soon lady, take care.
I hope you're Okay my darling.
ReplyDeleteIt is perfectly normal to have doubts about oneself. You are not given a clear map of your life the day you were born, you have to draw it yourself as you grow up. Sometimes it can get a little bit messy, but you always manage to clear it up, and find the right path again.
I know you will be able to find this path.
Remember that I'm always with you !
xX
We all have different binge/purge triggers and avoid tactics so I can't help you there hunn, you need to find your best distraction. My b/p avoid is probably the worst but it works for me: chain smoking (insert surgeon general's warning ciggys = skull & cross bones)
ReplyDeleteKeep thinking autumn is starting, you have a nice 3months to get thin for winter. I love winter, can't wait to rock my red wool trench. Get yourself a sexy coat and work towards it fitting perfectly.
Stay strong hunn! You have purpose and we are all here to support and love you.