I've felt like utter crap for a lot of the day, I've got into a habit of crying whenever I'm alone for too long.
Or when I think. I started crying in English Literature, though no one noticed except the boy who sits opposite me who looked confused as to why I was finding Hamlet so moving.
Then just like that I'm fine again.
I'm not sure if this is an improvement on the numb feelings I was having for months or not.
I get really angry over nothing as well.
My mum made me eat a sandwich, then I noticed my chewing was in time with my dad's chewing, so I tried to swallow without chewing, and did anything I could to get out of sync with him.
In the end I had to run upstairs to spit out the mouthful of food and purge the rest.
Then I had a bath, considered drowning myself, washed my hair got really excited by some sparkly shampoo. Got out felt down again, looked at my iTunes and found an old song I'd forgotten about (Shut Up - Black Eyed Peas, I used to love it so much I still know all the words), which cheered me up again. Then my sister rung from university, she moved up there on Saturday, and I miss her way more than I thought I would. We've got closer since she left, we've spoken on the phone every day since she left, and in a couple of weeks I'm going up to visit her. Her university's in Camden, 20 minutes away from the market. Shopping trip!!
See, my moods are so.. erratic.
Sorry, I've been so moody and boring recently. I've also been awful at commenting and comment replies. I've read every comment I've got, and thank you so so much to everyone who still talks to me despite my annoyingness recently.
I'll reward you all with thinspo:
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| I think this photo is actually of one of you guys, I won't name her in case she doesn't want people knowing, and if she finds this creepy I'll delete it; but I just wanted to say YOU ARE MY THINSPO. I found this photo in my thinspo folder on my laptop, and actually forgot it was you until I looked through them again. Seriously, you don't even realise how amazing you look. |
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You havent been moody and you can never be boring - you have nothing to apologise for!! Seriously.. and for the record I found hamlet quite moving.. I identified too much with his suicidal thoughts - poor depressed hamlet.. we all have our moments - do not feel bad or apologise, i hope that you have more ups than downs.. wow sparkly shampoo?! erm, i want.. haha that would have totally cheered me up too lol love youuu x
ReplyDeleteomg darling I love you so much <3 thank you for being such a great friend, always being there for me, trying to prove to me that I am better than I give myself credit...You are beautiful as well. I know times are tough but we can stick them out together. I wish I lived in England and we could diet all day, be there for each other, go walking, get skinny, and then show all the people who have ever been mean to you that you are better than them. You have the thoughts and power to be great and succeed at your goals. Prove them to yourself. I know you can.
ReplyDeleteOmg total legg thinspo orgasm. So many gorgeous twig legs and thigh gaps *drools*
ReplyDeleteStay strong hunn. I know I've been slacking on commments but I read every post you write and sending you good vibes.
yum yum yum thinspo!! Stay strong!!! The erractic moods will try to bring you down, but you must not let them!! we love you xx
ReplyDelete