Stress

I have never been so stressed out in my life.
My first exam is in less than a week; it's also on my birthday. What a great day that's going to be.
My mum decided she would take the day off for my birthday so that we could do something as a family (after my exam finishes at 11am). We planned a small family meal at whatever restaurant I wanted (I even convinced myself that because it's my birthday I wouldn't beat myself up over one meal), and I was actually excited for it to be about me for once - I know that sounds so selfish, but I hate that no one even notices me any more.
But now the meal had to be cancelled because my sister has a hospital appointment at 7pm on my birthday. I know it's so so unbelievably selfish for me to be annoyed about it, because there is nothing anyone can do to change it; but I hate how once again everything is about my sister. It's only a consultation nothing really serious; but I'll still spend my birthday worrying that they'll give her bad news or notice something new that's wrong with her.
Last year we went for a family meal a few days after my birthday, for what I was told was my birthday meal, but instead everybody toasted to my sister getting an offer from her dream university, and for how she was bound to do well in her A levels, yet again my birthday was forgotten.

I'm still staying at my nan's house because I can't deal with my dad, I keep coming home to use my laptop and pick up more clothes. My dad still hasn't noticed that I'm ignoring him, even though he's directly spoken to me every day and I've ignored him. My mum hasn't asked me to come back home yet, no one actually gives a shit that I'm not there.
Even my nan hardly notices me. My sister spends most of the day revising at my nan's with me - she's revising because she failed her A levels first time round and has to retake a year - and every time my nan talks about us she says how hard my sister's working, and basically says I'm not doing any revision. No matter how hard I work and how well I do at school I will never be as amazing as my sister. I'm doing better than her, and I'm still the stupid one. The only exam I ever failed was my Biology exam which I had the morning after my sister was in hospital, and I spent the exam staring out the window and trying not to cry, so I honestly can't say that was my fault.

Woah, this was longer than I intended and so selfishly rambling.
Just to add, my diet's not going great but - due to a lot of throwing up - I am losing some weight still. I'm not sure exactly how much because my nan's scales are different to my home ones. My stomach does seem a bit more bearable, and today my friend said I looked really skinny. But I think she might be starting to notice I never eat in school, so she was probably just trying to make me feel like I can eat again or something.

I'm not sure when I'll next be able to post because exams are taking over my life at the moment; but in less than three weeks they will be completely over and I can fully concentrate on my diet again.

This will be me in two months..